[ He steps in and takes a spot on the couch in her office, leaning back and rubbing his hands over his face. When he looks at her finally, he looks exhausted -- and he is -- and the reassuring smile he attempts to show is just sad. ]
I'm sorry, Padme. I just needed some time to myself.
[ He reaches for her, hoping that she isn't too angry. ]
[ She closes her eyes and kisses the top of his head. ]
I know.
[ Each new piece of information she learns is a tool but also a burden. The Republic falls and the Jedi with it. An empire will rise in its place and hold the galaxy in an iron grip. Her children will grow up knowing nothing of their biological parents. They will fight in the war, they will bleed, they will suffer loss.
She doesn't need to say anything else. They can both feel the weight of their knowledge. ]
Force, he wish she just knew what he was thinking and could take it from him. He looks up at her, as if she can solve all his problems just by being there. ]
Does it make me a bad person if I wished that they weren't here, if it was just the two of us here?
[ He doesn't specify who the 'they' are. It encompasses everyone that wasn't them. ]
[ He smiles at her, a genuine smile that only seems to come easily when she's here. An arm wraps around her shoulder and he pulls her to his chest, tucking his head on top of her head. ]
You're dealing with it a lot better than me, though.
[ A tired smile. ] I haven't been forced to carry as much.
[ Leia's feelings toward him, Obi-Wan's disappointment, being forced to leave the Order or leave her. On top of the strain of two and a half more years of war that he has endured that she hasn't yet. ]
[ She leans into his touch, looking at him with sad eyes. ]
Being called the Chosen One since you were a child and living with those expectations... maybe that's why you try to carry so much and soldier on alone. But you're always Anakin to me. And I will always help you carry your burdens.
[ Quietly: ] I told Leia that we would have given anything to watch her and Luke grow up.
[ He makes a disgruntled noise at that -- the Chosen One. What a joke. He nose through her hair again and mutters. His eyes close for the moment. ]
You are an angel.
[ He should- he knows he should just tell her what he plans to do but gods, it's peaceful at the moment. And he would so much rather be content here then talk about that. ]
What if we did give everything, and this is how it turned out anyway?
[ He doesn't say anything comforting to reassure her. He doesn't take it back either. This is what he knows: he loves her enough to watch a rotten system go to waste. ]
We are going to fix everything. None of us will have to sacrifice anything.
[ "We" meaning him and Obi-Wan. She's irritated that they didn't consult her or bother telling her anything until after they've made a plan, but that's not the point right now. (They're getting her input whether they ask for it or not anyway.)
[ He goes through, roughly outlining what he plans to do. And quickly, too. Obi-Wan's involvement is minimal. Which should be telling of how much Obi-Wan even approves of this plan, though their hands are tied. ]
Obi-Wan knows about the night my mother died. That'll be enough to expel me from the Order. I'll be free to collect evidence against him and his moves contributing to the fall of the Republic. But most of all, I will have to make it abundantly clear that the Jedi Order are free of any possible acts betrayal.
[ That was... a lot to dump on her at once and it takes her a moment to gather her thoughts.
Palpatine is a Sith. Palpatine is a Sith. How is that even possible? She's known the man for years. Him tearing down the Republic is unthinkable, yet...
Yet not impossible. She believes Anakin and Obi-Wan. And she knows how clever Paplatine can be. She feels... well she's not sure what to feel. Disbelief, shock, betrayal, anger. For a moment, the anger bubbles up and threatens to boil over. But she holds it back. For now.
As he talks, her posture shifts until her elbows are resting on her thighs and one of her hands is covering her face. Telling Obi-Wan about the Tusken Raiders, being expelled from the Order when he'd already agreed to leave on his own, getting close to a Sith to gather evidence.
Once he's finished, she sighs sadly and uncovers her face so she can look at him. ]
[ He puts it simply. There is a wry determination set in his spine and a fearful doubt that shakes his hands. ]
If it means that our future will be ours, it's a risk I'm willing take again and again.
[ He can feel her anger, her apprehension, her sadness. It was everything he was trying to keep her from. He wants her to tell him it's alright, she needed to know but he push that aside and pleads for another case instead. ]
Don't you see, Padme. We can be with Luke and Leia when they grow up.
[ He's being reckless. He should know that this plan is insanely flawed. But Padmé recognizes his state of mind-- scared, anxious, angry, anguished. It's a reflection of her own. He wants to rush forward, take all the risk, and get the entire thing over with.
She can't let him. (She can't lose him to this.) ]
And if he finds out? He could kill you, Ani. This isn't... we have to think this through.
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But it turns out to be unneccessary.
Padmé opens the door promptly. Her worried expression breaks into relief when she sees him. She probably should be upset, but she's too relieved.
She steps back to let him in. ] Where have you been?
[ Her voice is soft rather than forceful. ]
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I'm sorry, Padme. I just needed some time to myself.
[ He reaches for her, hoping that she isn't too angry. ]
Are you alright?
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Just tell me next time. I understand if you need time to yourself.
[ Gently: ] I'm fine. I'm more worried about you.
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He sighs and lays a soft kiss on her palm. ]
Things are getting more and more complicated the more time we spend here.
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I know.
[ Each new piece of information she learns is a tool but also a burden. The Republic falls and the Jedi with it. An empire will rise in its place and hold the galaxy in an iron grip. Her children will grow up knowing nothing of their biological parents. They will fight in the war, they will bleed, they will suffer loss.
She doesn't need to say anything else. They can both feel the weight of their knowledge. ]
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She knows.
Force, he wish she just knew what he was thinking and could take it from him. He looks up at her, as if she can solve all his problems just by being there. ]
Does it make me a bad person if I wished that they weren't here, if it was just the two of us here?
[ He doesn't specify who the 'they' are. It encompasses everyone that wasn't them. ]
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No. It means you're a very overwhelmed, overwrought person. We've had a lot thrown at us, more than anyone could ever prepare for.
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You're dealing with it a lot better than me, though.
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[ Leia's feelings toward him, Obi-Wan's disappointment, being forced to leave the Order or leave her. On top of the strain of two and a half more years of war that he has endured that she hasn't yet. ]
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I don't know if I'm forced to carry it, or if I'm forcing myself to. It feels like everything is hinging on me to do something about it.
[ He leans back and looks at her, a fingers soft against her cheek ]
I don't want our children to grow up not knowing their parents.
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Being called the Chosen One since you were a child and living with those expectations... maybe that's why you try to carry so much and soldier on alone. But you're always Anakin to me. And I will always help you carry your burdens.
[ Quietly: ] I told Leia that we would have given anything to watch her and Luke grow up.
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You are an angel.
[ He should- he knows he should just tell her what he plans to do but gods, it's peaceful at the moment. And he would so much rather be content here then talk about that. ]
What if we did give everything, and this is how it turned out anyway?
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We probably did. [ They're both dead, aren't they? ]
It kills me to know that the Republic will crumble. The sacrifices will be for nothing.
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He whispers, confesses: ]
I would sacrifice the whole Republic if it meant I wouldn't lose you.
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You know I wouldn't want that.
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We are going to fix everything. None of us will have to sacrifice anything.
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[ She doesn't know so much as believe. Padmé has no intention of accepting fate. She will stop the rise of the Empire or die trying. ]
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[ He reluctantly pulls away and hunches over his knee. ]
We ...have a plan.
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She sits back and watches him carefully. ]
What's the plan?
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Obi-Wan knows about the night my mother died. That'll be enough to expel me from the Order. I'll be free to collect evidence against him and his moves contributing to the fall of the Republic. But most of all, I will have to make it abundantly clear that the Jedi Order are free of any possible acts betrayal.
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Palpatine is a Sith. Palpatine is a Sith. How is that even possible? She's known the man for years. Him tearing down the Republic is unthinkable, yet...
Yet not impossible. She believes Anakin and Obi-Wan. And she knows how clever Paplatine can be. She feels... well she's not sure what to feel. Disbelief, shock, betrayal, anger. For a moment, the anger bubbles up and threatens to boil over. But she holds it back. For now.
As he talks, her posture shifts until her elbows are resting on her thighs and one of her hands is covering her face. Telling Obi-Wan about the Tusken Raiders, being expelled from the Order when he'd already agreed to leave on his own, getting close to a Sith to gather evidence.
Once he's finished, she sighs sadly and uncovers her face so she can look at him. ]
It's too risky, Anakin.
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If it means that our future will be ours, it's a risk I'm willing take again and again.
[ He can feel her anger, her apprehension, her sadness. It was everything he was trying to keep her from. He wants her to tell him it's alright, she needed to know but he push that aside and pleads for another case instead. ]
Don't you see, Padme. We can be with Luke and Leia when they grow up.
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What happens if he figures out you're a double agent? What if he makes you prove your allegiance by forcing you to do something horrible?
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[ A dry chuckle. He is pitying himself for placing so much trust in the man, but it's not time for that so he stops. ]
Then I won't. Whatever he comes up with, we can use it against him.
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She can't let him. (She can't lose him to this.) ]
And if he finds out? He could kill you, Ani. This isn't... we have to think this through.
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